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I Feel Bad About My Neck
Cover of I Feel Bad About My Neck
I Feel Bad About My Neck
And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.
The woman who brought us When Harry Met Sally . . . discusses everything–from how much she hates her purse to how much time she spends attempting to stop the clock: the hair dye, the treadmill, the lotions and creams that promise to slow the aging process but never do. Oh, and she can't stand the way her neck looks. But her dermatologist tells her there's no quick fix for that.
Ephron chronicles her life, but mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age.
Utterly courageous, wickedly funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is an audiobook of wisdom, advice, and laugh-out-loud moments, a scrumptious, irresistible treat.
With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.
The woman who brought us When Harry Met Sally . . . discusses everything–from how much she hates her purse to how much time she spends attempting to stop the clock: the hair dye, the treadmill, the lotions and creams that promise to slow the aging process but never do. Oh, and she can't stand the way her neck looks. But her dermatologist tells her there's no quick fix for that.
Ephron chronicles her life, but mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age.
Utterly courageous, wickedly funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is an audiobook of wisdom, advice, and laugh-out-loud moments, a scrumptious, irresistible treat.
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Excerpts-
  • From the book

    What I Wish I'd Known

    People have only one way to be.

    Buy, don't rent.

    Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced
    from.

    Don't cover a couch with anything that isn't more or
    less beige.

    Don't buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it
    seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when
    you try it on in the store.

    You can't be friends with people who call after 11 p.m.

    Block everyone on your instant mail.

    The world's greatest babysitter burns out after two and
    a half years.

    You never know.

    The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of
    money.

    The plane is not going to crash.

    Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age
    of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-
    five.

    At the age of fifty-five you will get a saggy roll just
    above your waist even if you are painfully thin.

    This saggy roll just above your waist will be especially
    visible from the back and will force you to reevaluate
    half the clothes in your closet, especially the white
    shirts.

    Write everything down.

    Keep a journal.

    Take more pictures.

    The empty nest is underrated.

    You can order more than one dessert.

    You can't own too many black turtleneck sweaters.

    If the shoe doesn't fit in the shoe store, it's never going
    to fit.

    When your children are teenagers, it's important to have
    a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

    Back up your files.

    Overinsure everything.

    Whenever someone says the words "Our friendship is
    more important than this," watch out, because it almost
    never is.

    There's no point in making piecrust from scratch.

    The reason you're waking up in the middle of the night
    is the second glass of wine.

    The minute you decide to get divorced, go see a lawyer
    and file the papers.

    Overtip.

    Never let them know.

    If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you're
    ahead of the game.

    If friends ask you to be their child's guardian in case
    they die in a plane crash, you can say no.

    There are no secrets.


    From the Hardcover edition.
About the Author-
  • Nora Ephron was the author of the hugely successful I Feel Bad About My Neck, I Remember Nothing, and Heartburn among many others. She received Academy Award nominations for best original screenplay for When Harry Met Sally . . . , Silkwood, and Sleepless in Seattle, which she also directed. Her other credits include the hit play Lucky Guy and the films You've Got Mail and Julie & Julia, both of which she wrote and directed. She died in 2012.
Reviews-
  • AudioFile Magazine Fifteen essays written by the wonderful Nora Ephron about what it's like to be a woman over 60 are funny, sweet, sad, distressing, and dead honest. Ephron reads the way she writes--with a wry, witty candor that is engaging. It's a little like talking to a friend who won't let you lie to yourself about your aging body and the forces of gravity. In time, everything sags. With spirit and intelligence, Ephron's conversational tone keeps heads nodding and grins widening as she recalls her attempts at solutions to pre- and post-menopausal problems. She deals with hair dyes, skin creams, manicures, and pedicures, but by the book's conclusion she finally declares what most women of a certain age know anyway: Trying to stop the clock simply doesn't work. S.J.H. (c) AudioFile 2007, Portland, Maine
  • Publisher's Weekly

    January 29, 2007
    Ephron's eclectic essays about life as an older woman certainly provide humor and insight into the lives of sexagenarians who have spent most of their lives as city girls. She both mocks and embraces the lifestyle she has maintained over the past decades. Whether she is waxing poetic about the rituals of everyday life, her love-hate relationship with purses, her affinity for celebrity chefs or her obsession over her apartment, Ephron delivers this audiobook in the spirited tone of one who is at peace with the life she has lived. Her gentle comedic delivery of punch lines will evoke smiles in listeners. While her sincerity at times clashes with her sarcasm, causing the listener to pause and determine what she meant, she still produces moments where her positive energy summons up a picture of her smiling as she reads into the microphone. Ephron's writing style lends weight to these brief trysts into the personal and worldly, strange and mundane aspects of her life. But mostly, her voice evokes the image of a serene and wise woman providing her insights. Simultaneous release with the Knopf hardcover (Reviews, June 6).

  • Emily Toth, Women's Review of Books

    "Nora Ephron, 65 years old in I Feel Bad About My Neck, pokes fun at her own eccentricities and finds herself writing about 'lunch with my girlfriends--I got that far into the sentence and caught myself. I suppose I mean my women friends. We are no longer girls and have not been for forty years.' But [I Feel Bad About My Neck is a] girlfriend book, and in the best way. . . . Ephron, who is a great wit, has made a career out of women's body anxieties. The magazine piece that made her famous in the 1970s, 'A Few Words about Breasts,' is a long kvetch about her flat chest . . . Now, though, Ephron kvetches about her wrinkled neck, the one part of a woman's aging body that can't be resurfaced. She and the ladies who lunch with her all wear scarves or turtlenecks to hide their 'shame.' . . . Ephron [is] unfailingly clever and often pokes fun at our preoccupations while sharing them. . . . I Feel Bad About My Neck has everything I want in an entertaining read: a breezy pace, wry musings, copious doses of gossip, humor, and new information. . . . Ephron produces perfect vignettes. . . . [When I finished I Feel Bad About My Neck, I] felt the 'rapture' that Ephron says you feel on completing a great book. . . . [Books] have always been faithful pals, and [this one is] among the best. . . . [Get] your friends of a certain age together, rent Silkwood (which I think is Ephron's best film), read [her book] together, and argue and laugh and cry. That's my prescription."

  • Easy Living magazine (UK) "The subtitle to this book of autobiographical essays by the pithy, witty Ephron--'and other thoughts on being a woman'--says it all. Chapters include brilliant, biting essays on such things as wrinkly necks, bad handbags, and being a parent. You'll laugh out loud at her spot-on observations, but there's something wonderfully poignant about Ephron's list of things worth knowing, and how to live out one's life feeling satisfied. A heartwarming little book."
  • Christopher Goodwin, The Sunday Times (UK) "What's refreshing about Ephron is that she refuses to entertain any illusions about the terrible fate that awaits us. What's great about her is that she makes the truth about life so funny when it should be so grim."
  • U.S. News & World Report "Ephron's laugh-out-loud collection tells the truth about aging--it's not fun--and 'she does it with humor and satire and perspective,' says [Roxanne Coady of R. J. Julia Booksellers in Madison, Conn.]. With blithe charm, Ephron exposes all the vain ploys that she--and we--would rather not admit we use to stave off another telltale wrinkle or gray hair. Read her book as an antidote to despair."
  • People magazine, Top 10 Books of 2006 "Now 65, the humorist offers a bracing take on aging in 15 memorable essays. Her finely honed wit is as fresh as ever."
  • Ladies Home Journal "As if wrinkles and belly flab weren't enough, women of a certain age have to fret about their turkey necks, too--so says the sage, dry, and hilarious Nora Ephron . . . Her droll take on traditionally gooey topics like motherhood and marriage makes the tender observations that much more unexpected . . . [A] sparkling series of essays."
  • Diane Johnson, The New York Review of Books "Delightful . . . [A] funny, sisterly collection . . . Where books written for seniors are apt to be full of unconvincing cheer, Ephron's charming book of self-questioning, confession, and resolve faces the reality that she's sixty-five, dyes her hair, and is not happy about her neck, her purse, her failure at ambitious exercise programs, and other personal failures shared by many of us . . . None of these confrontations with mortality is arcane, all are universal, and people of either sex can relate to them . . . Many readers of I Feel Bad About My Neck will be familiar already with Ephron the accomplished human being . . . She's one of only a few American essayists with a public persona--one thinks of Will Rogers, or Calvin Trillin, maybe Benjamin Franklin, Steve Martin, and Woody Allen . . . [She has] a talent for incisive compression and accessibility confided in a sort of plainspoken Will Rogers manner . .
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I Feel Bad About My Neck
And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
Nora Ephron
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